Dear One

It's been a long time since I've done any major AE pictures of any kind because I'm still grieving, STILL, and I just couldn't bear the thought of working with the characters again because it would hurt too much. Silly, I know. I drew this sketch of Fae several weeks ago and gave it up because of that.

HOWEVER, because I am still struggling with a block, I turned to this for something to paint because I absolutely must have a painting to work on at all times or else I get frustrated and just generally unsettled. I'm glad I decided to pick it back up, because it turned out rather well.

It got me all nostalgic and mopey, though, and I was whimpering and whining like a little bitch throughout the entire process. Well not literally, it was all in my head, but still.

It feels exactly like being on the rebound after a bad breakup, where you've got this hole in your heart and you keep looking for someone else to fill it but nobody can ever be good enough. You really want to just go back to the way things were before, but it's impossible; they moved on, and so you have to move on, too.

I'll stop right here, although I could go on, because you don't need to hear all the details of my imaginary friend troubles, and I've probably already made myself look like a doofus by harping on and on about it. So, yeah. CRIPPLING SENSE OF LOSS CONTINUES.

Oh yeah, and I think of all the faces Fae has had in my paintings over the years (due to both my own weakness in the area of likenesses and difficulty in making up my mind), this one is quite possibly my favorite.